SPECIAL COUPLE EDITION
today is Clement and my 3 mth anniversary. i doubt that has any significance except that we've managed to tolerate each other for 3 mths..and managed to stay together for 3 weeks in a long distance relationship (LDR). haha. 3 mths is really short and i've been hearing ppl tell me abt their relationships of 2, 3, 4 years...but nonetheless, 2, 3 or 4 years has to start somewhere.
ATTENTION ALL YOU GUYS OUT THERE: A SURE FIRE WAY TO GET HER TO ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL.
1. pick an auspicious date, one that is personally significant, or looks nice (eg. 05-05-06), or easy to remember (eg. 1-1-07).
2. book an entire ice-skating rink. for best results, book the biggest and most expensive in your whole country.
3. lay a long long long red carpet through it, buy bouquets and bouquets of fresh flowers, and hire professional ice-skaters to dance around the rink carrying the flowers.
4. pick out the recording of her favourite song, or your 'couple song' or sth that's meaningful and romantic.
5. Time how long it takes to walk down the red carpet from the entrance to the middle of the rink. tweek the song to ensure it ends just as you reach the middle (best if music slowly fades away when you reach the middle).
6. bring her there at midnight.
7. walk down the red carpet with her (preferably each walking from directly opposite entrances so you guys can meet in the middle), as the music plays, and the skaters twirl around the both of you with bouquets of flowers.
8. at the middle, look into her eyes,, kneel down and propose. (take the risk of potentially blinding her and go ahead, buy a diamond ring with as many carats as you can afford!)
additional note: inform the media about your grand proposal which would certainly set the bar for marriage proposals. it might even nab you a bevy of female fans, or perhaps boost your business with more female customers. also, with media pressure, any declination of your proposal or eventual backing out of the marriage would definately hit the newspapers and result in social backlash (you are essentially leaving her with no choice but to marry you. cunning).
with the potent combination of fairytale romance and your entire bank account, your proposal is guaranteed to melt her heart and make her say "i do"!! So take her to fairytale land and live happily ever after!
hahaha. btw, this is a tried and tested method. last nite, Ming Kin, my fren from Selangor M'sia, was just telling me abt his bro who came out on the newspaper in M'sia for his ultra grand and extravagant proposal to his gf to 9years!! (which happened to be steps 1-8 above). what's more amazing is that they stood the test of time and distance by enduring 7 years of LDR!! coz he was a medical student in the University of Melbourne, and currently working in a hospital in Melb, while she's a lawyer in M'sia. ha! just the assurance i need that LDRs may actually work?!!
alternatively, if your relationship has yet to reach the marriage stage (or you do not have sufficient funds in your savings), how to keep her by your side/beef up your saving account:
Ask yourself, has anything ever come in the way of your relationship? e.g. computer games or comics or training? As a prove of your committent and love, sell your computer game account (e.g. WOW), of which you have spent 1300+ hrs of your life on it, and which was once* your sole sustaining factor and escape from reality.
* notice the words 'was once' since now, she is your sole sustaining factor, RIGHT??
Sell it so that you have enough money to book the ice skating rink and buy her a ring, or if she is overseas (that hurts i know), use the money to fly to wherever she is (e.g. Melbourne) and be her b'day present (or simply as a surprise**)! hahahahahhahaha.
** make sure it's a surprise she actually wants otherwise it could lead to disastrous consequences &/or eventual realisation and liberation.
well, thank you for doing so much for me Clement. It doesn't have to be opulent. it's enough knowing you're always there for me. I seriously wonder what i've ever done for you. Nothing much actually. Always demanding and expecting so much of you but never going out of my way just to do anything for you, but expecting you to od so just to accomodate me. thank you for not faltering despite my skepticism and pessimism.
ATTENTION ALL YOU GUYS OUT THERE: A SURE FIRE WAY TO GET HER TO ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL.
1. pick an auspicious date, one that is personally significant, or looks nice (eg. 05-05-06), or easy to remember (eg. 1-1-07).
2. book an entire ice-skating rink. for best results, book the biggest and most expensive in your whole country.
3. lay a long long long red carpet through it, buy bouquets and bouquets of fresh flowers, and hire professional ice-skaters to dance around the rink carrying the flowers.
4. pick out the recording of her favourite song, or your 'couple song' or sth that's meaningful and romantic.
5. Time how long it takes to walk down the red carpet from the entrance to the middle of the rink. tweek the song to ensure it ends just as you reach the middle (best if music slowly fades away when you reach the middle).
6. bring her there at midnight.
7. walk down the red carpet with her (preferably each walking from directly opposite entrances so you guys can meet in the middle), as the music plays, and the skaters twirl around the both of you with bouquets of flowers.
8. at the middle, look into her eyes,
additional note: inform the media about your grand proposal which would certainly set the bar for marriage proposals. it might even nab you a bevy of female fans, or perhaps boost your business with more female customers. also, with media pressure, any declination of your proposal or eventual backing out of the marriage would definately hit the newspapers and result in social backlash (you are essentially leaving her with no choice but to marry you. cunning).
with the potent combination of fairytale romance and your entire bank account, your proposal is guaranteed to melt her heart and make her say "i do"!! So take her to fairytale land and live happily ever after!
hahaha. btw, this is a tried and tested method. last nite, Ming Kin, my fren from Selangor M'sia, was just telling me abt his bro who came out on the newspaper in M'sia for his ultra grand and extravagant proposal to his gf to 9years!! (which happened to be steps 1-8 above). what's more amazing is that they stood the test of time and distance by enduring 7 years of LDR!! coz he was a medical student in the University of Melbourne, and currently working in a hospital in Melb, while she's a lawyer in M'sia. ha! just the assurance i need that LDRs may actually work?!!
alternatively, if your relationship has yet to reach the marriage stage (or you do not have sufficient funds in your savings), how to keep her by your side/beef up your saving account:
Ask yourself, has anything ever come in the way of your relationship? e.g. computer games or comics or training? As a prove of your committent and love, sell your computer game account (e.g. WOW), of which you have spent 1300+ hrs of your life on it, and which was once* your sole sustaining factor and escape from reality.
* notice the words 'was once' since now, she is your sole sustaining factor, RIGHT??
Sell it so that you have enough money to book the ice skating rink and buy her a ring, or if she is overseas (that hurts i know), use the money to fly to wherever she is (e.g. Melbourne) and be her b'day present (or simply as a surprise**)! hahahahahhahaha.
** make sure it's a surprise she actually wants otherwise it could lead to disastrous consequences &/or eventual realisation and liberation.
well, thank you for doing so much for me Clement. It doesn't have to be opulent. it's enough knowing you're always there for me. I seriously wonder what i've ever done for you. Nothing much actually. Always demanding and expecting so much of you but never going out of my way just to do anything for you, but expecting you to od so just to accomodate me. thank you for not faltering despite my skepticism and pessimism.
posted by aine at 4:05 AM
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